gray

does every white girl have an eating disorder?
do we all pick at our fingers until they bleed?
is this all that we were meant for?
is this what white privilege means to me?
somebody once asked me how it feels
to be so beautiful on the outside,
but what I didn't even know in that moment
is that I was most beautiful on the inside
does high school ever end?
not asking for me, asking for a friend
he only ever liked me when I was stick thin,
but my best friend got me to eat again
waxing and waning, I search harder for truth--
it isn't something I'll find in you
youth is something we all cling to,
but our worries are our only defining proof
I don't mean to talk about them this way,
but their broken record colors my days
to keep from drowning, I run away;
I've never been scared of turning gray.